I hear this all the time from adults: “I’m just not good at languages.”

And I don’t really believe that.

I think adults can absolutely learn another language. The problem is that we often make language learning much more complicated than it needs to be. We study it. We analyze it. We translate everything. We worry about grammar. And most of all, we are terrified of sounding ridiculous.

Children don’t do any of that.

And I think that’s one of the biggest things we can learn from them.

Trying to Translate Everything

This is probably one of the biggest mistakes adults make.

Someone says something in Spanish or French, and immediately we try to translate the entire sentence into English in our head. Then we think about our answer in English, translate that back into the other language, check the grammar, and finally try to say it.

By that point, the conversation has moved on!

Translation creates an extra step that we really don’t need.

When you hear “apple,” you don’t need to think about the word apple. You see an apple in your mind. You know what it is. That’s the connection we want to create with another language too.

The goal is eventually to hear the word and understand the concept directly, without going through your first language.

Wanting to Understand Every Single Word

Adults really don’t like not understanding.

We can understand 80 percent of a sentence and become completely stuck on the 20 percent we missed.

But you don’t need every word.

You need the meaning.

If someone points toward the door, picks up their keys and says something you don’t completely understand, you can probably figure out that they’re leaving. Context is incredibly powerful.

Instead of asking yourself, “What does every word mean?” start asking, “What is this person trying to tell me?”

That’s a completely different way of listening.

Being Too Afraid to Make Mistakes

This one is huge.

Adults want to say the sentence correctly before they say it at all.

Unfortunately, language doesn’t work that way.

You’re going to say things incorrectly. You’re going to use the wrong word. You’re going to have an accent. Sometimes you’re going to say something that makes absolutely no sense.

Good!

That means you’re using the language.

I’ve seen people who know a tremendous amount of grammar but barely speak because they’re afraid of making a mistake. Meanwhile, someone with a much smaller vocabulary is having an entire conversation because they’re willing to try.

Communication comes first. Perfection can come later.

Studying Grammar Before Building the Language

Grammar has a place. Of course it does.

But I don’t believe it needs to be the beginning.

You knew how to speak your first language long before you knew what a verb, adjective or direct object was. You learned patterns because you heard them over and over again.

Eventually, something simply sounded right.

The same thing can happen in another language.

When you’ve heard a structure hundreds of times in real conversations, grammar starts making much more sense because you already have something to connect it to.

Not Getting Enough Real Exposure

Taking a class once a week is wonderful, but if that’s the only time you hear the language, progress is going to be slow.

Language needs repetition and exposure.

Listen to music. Watch something in the language you’re learning. Change the language on something you use regularly. Listen to people speaking even when you don’t understand everything. Have conversations. Come to immersion sessions.

You don’t always need to be actively “studying.”

Sometimes you just need to be around the language.

Waiting Until You’re “Ready” to Speak

You’re never going to feel completely ready.

You don’t need 5,000 words before you can have a conversation. You can communicate an incredible amount with a surprisingly small vocabulary, especially when you add gestures, facial expressions and context.

Start with what you have.

If you know ten words, use those ten words.

Then learn eleven.

Forgetting to Have Fun

This might be the mistake I dislike the most.

Somewhere along the way, adults decided learning a language had to feel like work.

It doesn’t.

Talk about things you actually care about. Cook something. Play a game. Have coffee with someone. Watch a terrible TV show. Laugh when you say something completely wrong.

The more experiences you create in the language, the more meaning that language begins to have.

That’s really the philosophy behind our teen and adult sessions at Verbalee. We want you to use the language, not sit quietly while someone teaches it to you.

You don’t need to become a student again.

You need opportunities to listen, understand, make mistakes, laugh, respond and try again.

Because ultimately, you don’t learn to have conversations by studying conversations.

You learn by having them.